LOCATION: D.A.M. HOUSE SLIME CENTRAL, 503 E STREET BAND IN DAVIS, CALIBALLS. PARTY STARTS AT 7AM.
ITEMS YOU NEED TO BRING TO COMPLETE THIS ZONE: $5 for touring band gas, one large pizza.
IN CASE YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK THIS IS WHAT'S GOING ON:
1. SEXY PRISON WILL BE APPEARING FOR APPROXIMATELY 14 MINUTES TO SIGN PIZZA BOXES AND MAKE OUT WITH EACH OTHER. A HANDLE OF JIM BEAM WILL DROP FROM THE CEILING AT SOME POINT AND ENTER THE MOUTH OF MICK MUCUS, BEN DUAX WILL BE TALKING THE WHOLE TIME, BRIAN WEISS WILL BE YELLING AT A SLICE OF PIZZA, RICK ELE WILL BE TRYING TO KEEP EVERYONE FROM USING THE SHINGLES ON THE ROOF FOR FIREWOOD, TODD URICK WILL BE EATING A BAG OF CHIPS, SEAN P. SYRUP WILL RIP HIS SHIRT OFF AND USE THE NEW GUY AS A PUNCHING BAG, MARTIN WILL SHOW UP AND PEE INTO AN AIR CONDITIONER, JULIAN THE FOURTH WILL SLAP A CIGARETTE OUT OF SOME GIRL HE DOESN'T KNOW'S MOUTH, KLINGER AND SOLIS WILL BE YELLING AT EACH OTHER ABOUT WHO IS THE MOST WASTED, AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE PLAYING BASKETBALL AND MAKING OUT WITH STRANGERS OR TRIPPING ONTO A PILE OF GLASS AND SEEING HOW RED THEY ARE ON THE INSIDES. THIS WILL BE BLOGGED IN REALTIME FROM THE STAGE AT WWW.UNDIETACOS.ORG/SEXYPRISON (HOME OF THE FREE MP3S OF THE RECORD YOU CAN BUY AT THE SHOW FOR $5).
2. NIGHTWOUNDS ARE WINDING DOWN THEIR TOUR OF THE USA. WHICH MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS: THEY WILL BE INSANELY TIGHT AND FLYING THROUGH WINDOWS INTO THE STREET GOOD, OR THEY HAVE THE FLU OR SCABIES FROM SLEEPING INSIDE OF A WET BOX ALL THOSE TIMES THE SHOWS WEREN'T SO HOT. THEY'VE BEEN GETTING A LOT OF NICE PROPPERS THIS YEAR FROM OUR BUTTBOYS IN THE PRESS OVER AT THE GREAT SITES SILTBLOG AND BLASTITUDE AND THE LIKE ON ACCOUNT OF THEIR GOOD LP/CD THAT CAME OUT ON THE CORLEONE AND FUCK IT TAPES LABELS THIS PAST YEAR. I'D LIKE TO SECOND THAT, BECAUSE THEY ARE SIMPLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE LIVE BANDS RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN SEE WHAT THIS IS ABOUT HERE: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/NIGHTWOUNDS
3. TWIN CRYSTALS...VON VANCOUVER MOOGER DOOODERS. BETTER EAT SOME LUDES FOR THIS, THESE GUYS ARE CLEARLY INTO DOING THE DEEP SPAACE VOID PUNCHER THING LAID TO TEMPLATE BY THE LIKES OF SUICIDE OR SOMEONE LESS FAMOUS LIKE ENDSTRUCTION OR SOMETHING. I GUESS? ACTUALLY, THE LUDES WOULD PROBABLY BE A BAD IDEA BECAUSE YOU'LL JUST PASS OUT AND THEN PROBABLY BETTER TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND WRITE YOUR OWN DESCRIPTION THAT YOU CAN READ AND DECIDE HOW AWESOME IT IS AFTER YOU GO TO THIS LINK: http://www.myspace.com/twincrystals
4. TERRESTRIAL ARE A FINE EXAMPLE OF WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUNG PEOPLE IN AMERICA TODAY: THEY ARE ALL ON DRUGS, MAKING ART, PLAYING MUSIC, AND NOT JOINING THE MARINES. KEEP AN EYE OUT, I THINK THESE GUYS HAVE A TENDENCY TO RIDE A PRETTY SWEET JAM CLOUD WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER, AND THE FORECAST DOES NOT CALL FOR FAUG. CHECK EM: http://www.myspace.com/terrestrialzone
5. P1ZZ4: PLEASE BRING ONE, WE WILL BE HAVING A SHOW AND TELL OF THE REGION'S BEST PIES AND COMPARING THE TASTINESS OF SUCH FINE PIEMEN AS ZELDA'S, LUIGI'S, ROMA'S, AND DOMINO'S. ALSO, P'ZONES ARE ACCEPTABLE, CALZONES NOT SO MUCH THOUGH. THESE WILL BE SHARED AND EATEN BE EVERYONE AT THE SHOW, PARTICULARLY ME.
AWESOME JOBS ON THE POSTERS/FLIERS GUYS! SAVE SOME FOR ME AND ROBERT, OKAE?