[[[[[[[IDEAS]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] NO DATES WE DON'T REMEMBER UND WE'RE MISSING A LOT OF PRINT STUFF BECAUSE WE DIDN'T SAVE IT AND IT AIN'T ON THA GOOGLE. THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE.

"Euhhmm..., right, I don’t really know how to describe this or what to compare this to, but Sexy Prison is yet another band that fusions electronic beats with powerchords. Now, we have seen this stuff before with bands like Atari Teenage Riot or Volt, but Sexy Prison have a yet much more discordant approach to it. Really weird and over top songs with titles like “Zima On Your Tits” or “Escape From Dude Mountain” that mix punk noise obnoxiousness to the digital backframe. Mind you, this isn’t 'wave', it’s punky but barely punk, you can hardly really dance to it, it’s noisy but not for the sake of noise. Maybe fans of Arab On Radar or The Locust could find a thrill in this but beyond that I really have no orientation point with this band and that’s maybe why I keep playing this time and again. Just get it and see for yourself, I bet you don’t own a lot of records quiet like this. *sAm*"

-BATARANG.BE

"A one-sided 7-inch with two songs. It's on clear vinyl, and the flip side is a colorful silk-screened drawing. It's not easy to tell who the band is (Sexy Prison) or what the songs are ("Bury My Heart At Vladivostock" and "Escape From Dude Mountain"), but the insert card does have a drawing of an erect penis on it. As for the music, it's pretty damn good -- sounds a little like Nate Young of Wolf Eyes singing and jamming with one of those campy angry German new wave synth industrial bands from the early 1980s. (See the great CD, just released on C.I.P., of music from 1981 by German group Alu. Sexy Prison reminds me of them!) Which is to say, pretty raucous. I mean, these guys really do know how to blast out and lay waste to their own dorky new wave grooves. Real good singing and screaming with attention paid to careful tension and release, especially on the second track "Escape From Dude Mountain." They're from Sacramento."

-BLASTITUDE.COM (J.D.)

"Just as the inventors of the internet never envisioned that its primary use would be lonely men downloading pictures of Russian teenagers getting plowed, I doubt that the pioneers of techno, nu metal, and electroclash would have ever figured that a couple of smart ass punk rockers would sprawl silliness over those soulless worlds. Like Nazis from Mars or Atari Teenage Riot, Sexy Prison takes digital technology and filters it through a punk mind frame. But unlike NFM or ATR, SP does not rely on pop or power, but instead on punk rock's built-in flippancy and what-the-fuck attitude. What they create with this attitude is an odd mesh of, well, shit, I don't know what it is a mesh of. In fact, it is hard to pin down what this stuff is or sounds like. There is a bass, there are vocals and there are programmed drums. What they do is the problem. Not a problem as in "We have a problem here," but in "I have a problem in that I don't have an angle on this." So they get points for eluding my grasp. They also get points for maintaining a sense of humor without being (mostly) obvious about it. And more points for making me want to listen to this more than twice (I am up to about ten). Granted at listen three, I skipped forward a couple songs, as this thing starts slow. I also am tempted to record this into the hard drive and then distort the hell out of it. But me wanting to tweak this also gives Sexy Prison points. Hell, too many records inspire me to do little more than sell them. So I guess this calls for the reviewer's conclusion, the verdict that guides the purchasing choices of you, the consumer. Hell, what the fuck? Buy it. At the very least I guarantee you won't have a record like this in your collection. And if you give it a few listens and are open to a punk twist on bass and beats you might really dig this."

-SCOTT SORIANO SS RECORDS

"While some will prefer the B-side to this single sided 7?, the boys cooped up in Sacremento’s “Sexy Prison” probably wouldn’t mind. Them boys would be vocalist John Pritchard and de-bassist Robert Pickle, together they may have given birth to the recently added “Babyhead” comp. Gotta love reproductive
technology these days. Pritchard’s reverby singing is like a woman with too much mascara, you kinda wonder what it would look/sound like without it…but you can’t stop staring at it nonetheless. The second track has a sample at the root that might be “Funky Cole Medina” or something, it gets briefly excavated for a spell along with four bars of a Tiki calypso. These two numbers are as subtle as a drag racing commercial, fervent with left-over machines from the disco age rebuilt
with illegal parts and maximum squelch. The lyrics are so warped, I thought they were singing about Boz Scaggs at one time. Even if they weren’t this is still tremendous."

-KFJC 89.7 FM SAN JOSE REVIEW

"What if Conan O'Brien put out a record on GSL? What if indeed."

-SPOCKMORGUE MAILORDER

"The superbly insane LP release from psychotic and much loved Sacramento death disco duo SEXY PRISON. An eleven-song mix of annoyingly hard-to-fathom vocals, pumped over layers of drum machine rhythms, crapped-out basslines, messed-up synths, and an assholish, abusive attitude."

-MIDHEAVEN MAILORDER

"Ummm, OK this is two guys that played too much Dungeons & Dragons growing up...odd synth-o crap that reminds me of a gentle Mr. California or a retarded Devo...raging all the way! (Note: I really dig this stuff)"

-KNOWCRAP.COM DISTRO

"The debut album is here, folks!! More abusive disco death-punk that takes nods from fellow Sacramento locals !!! and Yah Mos, but blend it with a heavy hand of electronica and disco new-wave. Red vinyl!! Full color glossy jackets and insert complete with hilarious, repulsive, ridiculous, and/or awesome artwork, naturally. Live it. Love it. Suck it."

-TONEVENDOR.COM

"Sexy Prison are a physicist and an engineer who download mp3's from good bands and steal their riffs because they suck at art. They are from Sacramento. The vocals sound like they were recorded in Carlsbad Caverns or on that new BonerPlex4040 and are super annoying because you can't understand the words and there isn't enough screaming. And there are like 3 drum machines going off at the same time so it sounds like the speakers are shooting white tar at your face. The bass player lifts weights on tour so he plays the g string a lot so people don't think he's a total jock but he fucks it up 99% of the time so it sounds terrible. Don't even get me started on the singer or his dick or how it always "accidentally" pops out and lands in a 12-year old girl's bowl of Rice Chex. I've seen them 4 times, and EVERY TIME when they are through they lecture the audience about why John Titor is a pussy and that they are bringing back Ovaltine and bladdy blah blah these guys are a dumb punk band and that's it. Gimmicks, "jokes", and electronics be damned, their favorite band is Screeching Weasels and sometimes Goody Mob and "Careless Whisper" by Wham. They've put out some stuff, like the clear one-sided "Bury my Heart at Vladivostok" 7" on Omnibus and the much "acclaimed" thing known as the "Babyhead" comp LP on S-S records, but most of the time they play xbox and try to be funny by only playing for 55 seconds to accidentally purposely be a dick to the guy who drove an hour to see them. Their new 11 song CD/LP is a split release between Omnibus and NASCAR and is called "Italians Who Just Saw Rocky" and probably sucks."

-NEW LP BIO THING FOR CD/LP ON OMNIBUS/NASCAR

"Not sure what to tell you about Sexy Prison except that they have a one-sided record out, 'Bury My Heart At Vladivostok/Escape From Dude Mountain' that is rather mystifying. They're from Sacramento and they create a very discordant electro-punk attack that has all kinds of annoying disco highlights, crossed with vocals by guys that sound like they spend a lot of time sniffing the holes in whiffle balls. Still, just whenever you think that things are going to become too obnoxious to bear, an explosion comes ripping down the street that has enough power to tear your clothes off and fed your lips into a big punk buzzsaw. It's a pretty bodacious process."

-THE WIRE

"There are those couple hours, between a long night of poisoning yourself with various substances and the moment a punishing hangover clamps your head under a drill press, when your synapses feel like they're firing at will, leaving little bullets of incomplete thoughts buzzing around in your head. Sacramento's Sexy Prison capture that dizzy imbalance (minus the skull-splitting finale), spewing out jittery, synth-heavy montages of bass and dissonant electronics, coming off somewhere between a shoe-in on the GSL/Gravity catalog and Point Line Plane meets Aphex Twin. I'd never heard the band before a paper-wrapped, burned copy of their split with Science Victim was passed my way, and to be honest, I can't make head or tail of the packaging, but the songs are damn good. Prison's stuff puts heavy delay/distortion on the vocals--which come from the same frontman who leads Sacramento's avant-hardcore act Corpse Fucks Corpse--so lyrics like "Oh man, I'm so high" collide with church bells and dental drills and, much later on the disc, samples from what sounds like an Eddie Murphy standup record. Everything is chopped up, sticking out, and thrown for a stuttered beat loop, becoming some of the coolest-sounding dance punk/experimental industrial I've heard patched together since a gloomy high-school friend of mine attempted to create his own versions of Severed Heads' work."

-JENNIFER MAERZ [SEATTLE STRANGER]

"Sexy Prison weigh in with "Teen Wolves Party Like Whitney (HARD)" another laptop whack-out which doesn't do much for me."

-TERMINAL-BOREDOM.COM [CLIPPED FROM BABYHEAD COMP REVIEW]

"I should say that Severed Heads, Sexy Prison, etc., have maximized the listener's patience for noxious sounds.

They come up with sounds that are deliberately annoying, but they ride them for about four bars or so before moving on to the next crazy little noise."

-SOMEONE ON A MESSAGEBOARD [RICK?]

"Dude, Sexy Prison, the one-sided piece of 7" genius on Omnibus. Get it or you'll cry. Electro death squads run free until the muddy-as-hell backtrack from 'C'mon and Ride It' (the train) runs through the mix and turns it into, well, a sexy prison!"

-DJ CARRION [PDX MERCURY]

"This almost-Davis duo features John Pritchard (also known for his work crooning for Sacramento?s Corpse Fucks Corpse) on vocals and Robert Pickle on bass guitar. The oft-nude pair performs over noise-laden techno beats and fairly hilarious samples, including a clip of ?Ride the Train? by the Quad City DJs. The group?s live show features more than 15 bought-on-eBay strobe lights, and staccato-shadowing Pritchard as he postures around the venue garbling vocals through any number of effect boxes. A popular fixture at both Espresso Metro in Sacramento and the DAM House in Davis, Sexy Prison has toured the West Coast, playing with such eclectic and excellent bands as Kill Me Tomorrow, Dance Disaster Movement, Johnny X and the Groadies, and Headphone. The group recently recorded a one-sided 7-inch for Omnibus Records featuring the upbeat, comedic dance anthem "Escape From Dude Mountain." Excellent grooves meet stellar between-song banter for this group. Sort of like Sonic Youth interpreting rave music."

-AARON DAVIDSON [CAL AGGIE]

"this is a limited edition one side 7” on clear vinyl with the blank side silk screened. Two fun art damaged weirdo art rock hardcore tunes with major reverb on the vocals and a good gothy/hardcore feel. Recommended for fans of that early 90’s gravity sound. Good."

-STICKFIGURE DISTRO

"Imagine you were a couple of smart asses who lived in paradise - tree lined streets, among interesting people and community oriented small businesses. Now think of what you would do if that Eden was invaded by a yuppies in Humvees, driving around to the new malls, making the air the 6th worse in the United States, replacing family owned businesses with chainstores and boutiques, and gawking at the govenor/movie star when they see him smoking Havanas at some over-priced show hall. Now arm yourself with a bass guitar, some electronics, and a spastic, slinky of a lead singer. Create a bunch of sons that filter your anger through humor or your humor through anger or whatever you need to vent and remain partially sane. Well, you don't have to imagine because the reality is Sexy Prison."

-SCOTT SORIANO [SS RECORDS]

"Abusive disco death-punk that takes nods from fellow Sacramento locals !!! and Yah Mos, but blend it with a heavy hand of electronica and disco-new wave. If this is supposed to be a joke I really don't get it. I thought these guys were funny for like 5 seconds until they punched this girl in the head at one of their shows and didn't even say sorry, I could tell they did it on purpose too. Later, I heard they kicked some kid's dog in the head the same night outside the show because they said it looked at them "gay". What the hell is so funny about the number 2007? Or Carl's Jr. commercials? Or quantifying everything in %? These guys are just stupid assholes who get drunk and stick their dicks into anything that moves, including each other I bet. I fucking hate them. Don't buy this record, it's a trick."

-TONEVENDOR.COM

"The one-sided EP which comes along like the Oath/complete Fury without label. If nothing is new, there was with the pinball machine 7 ? already from years, but is especially nasty here because one recognizes the unrecorded, smooth, needle-destroying side thus not right away. Alternative solution would be to go with his fat fingers every time about the jungfräuliche vinyl. Has touched down already twice horribly on the felt because is to be recognized by the clear vinyl not at all whether one has gotten now the empty one or the exciting side. Grrrrr! Elektronoisepunk with rhythm of the better kind. Gives nowadays a boom in Elektropunks, but Sexy Prison belong unambiguously to the better ones! At all costs antesten!!! (Omnibus Records)"

-BOBTORTURE.DE [TRANSLATED FROM GERMAN]

"What the fuck is this?? The weirdest record I've ever seen. One-sided clear vinyl with a bizarre screened picture and on that is annoyingly surreal disco-'punk' shit that makes my ankles hurt and my jaws sore. Is that a 69 BOYS sample in the background? Hell if I know, but it's really making me paranoid of myself and others. The bio from Omnibus is hilarious, but I'd beware of this record if you value your genitals."

-HORIZONTAL ACTION